My life has unfolded in a way that, looking back, feels like a tapestry woven with the threads of experience, resilience, and transformation. Each chapter of my journey, no matter how disparate it seemed at the time, has led me closer to the essence of who I am today.

As a child of undocumented immigrants, the first 15 years of my life in Sydney were spent in the shadows, always on edge, searching for a place to belong. We were constantly on the move, unsettled and wary of being discovered. My first job was at an immigration law firm, where I worked with refugees seeking asylum in a class action suit. When the case was unsuccessful, many of our clients, including some of my own relatives, faced deportation. Fearing the fallout and needing to expand horizons of my musical dreams, I left Sydney for the U.S, hoping to escape the consequences and pursue my dream of becoming a rapper and producer.

In the early 2000s, when demo CDs and street cyphers were the lifeblood of aspiring artists, I found myself at an event in Las Vegas. There, I crossed paths with record executives who, after hearing my demo, invited me to New York to sign a record contract. I flew there, but in my haste, I missed the deadline to leave the country to renew my entry visa, becoming an illegal immigrant once more. When I arrived at the record label’s office on the scheduled date, I found the place deserted, a sign in the window reading "closed down." The label had dissolved, and with it, my hopes. I was stranded, unable to leave without facing the humiliation of returning to Australia and explaining my failure to everyone I knew.

After a few rough years trying to find my footing without the ability to work legally, I took on whatever under-the-table jobs I could find. As soon as I managed to get a Social Security number, I landed some corporate jobs but always had to leave if they asked for a work permit. My work was a patchwork of roles—waiter, carpenter's assistant, painter, AV tech, DJ, audio engineer, taxi driver, travel agent, and even immigration officer. I spent 15 years in New York, constantly reinventing myself, living parallel lives as I navigated industries and chased my dreams, all while evading the reality of my undocumented status.

Beneath the surface, no one knew my secret. I worked in the music industry, alongside artists I’d grown up listening to, and eventually became a touring travel agent for major acts. Yet, I was still running, from my past, from the truth of my present. My parents had come to Australia seeking a better life, and there I was in the US experiencing the same circumstances and learning so much compassion for their journey.

The irony of my journey is not lost on me. After years of living as an undocumented immigrant, I made with the FBI ( another long story) and ended up working for the FBI, later securing a green card and while performing in bands in the evenings and weekends I had a day job for the British government in counter terrorism as a muslim Indonesian once undocumented music chameleon. It was a surreal twist, a stark reminder of the complex and often paradoxical paths life can take.

While working on a big case, I injured my neck, three herniated disks and a pinched nerve left me with bouts of paralysis, triggered by loud sounds. New York’s sensory overload only worsened my condition, and I spent months in and out of doctors' offices without relief. One day, seeking peace, I went to a park and lay on the ground. Grounding myself and painting daily became my therapy, as if the earth was healing me. Inspired, I bought a ticket to Australia via Hawaii. Still in pain, I visited a healing beach in Hawaii, where the waters miraculously restored my mobility.

After three months of healing in Australia, I returned to New York, met my husband Malik, and we met in NYC on April 7 2014 , 7 months after we met, we got married on Nov 7 2014. Before our wedding celebration, in my mums village in Kuok, Sumatra Indonesia - a place full of magic, wizards and shamans, we fought an intense spiritual war which left us severely ill and opened up a portal to another dimension. We both saw things that were identical, supernatural and at times terrifying. 

Through a series of deep prayer, meditation, shaman assistance, family and community support we both emerged from this experience alive. Collectively we identified who in the spirit realm attacked us and banished the spirits while discovering the ancestral wound connected to the attack. Our wedding day had a great significance in the village as we were married in my grandparents home where my parents were married and also where there was much ancestral karma to be resolved. Through this experience, both Malik and I found a deeper faith in God and found a new inspiration for cultivating inner spiritual wisdom and strength.

We eventually settled in Sydney, starting a new chapter of our lives together. My journey into inner child healing began after our first child was born, it was the most intense time of extreme joy and pain. This is when I came to know that our stories are not just stored in our minds, they are deeply embedded in our bodies and energetic fields. In early motherhood I found myself paralysed by fear. I couldn’t walk and I was gripped by complex PTSD. Sleep was elusive, as my newborn needed constant care, and I was haunted by chronic panic attacks, flashbacks, and nightmares filled with horrific scenes from my past and my own childhood.

I was running all those years, in the midst of being an illegal immigrant, this brought desparate living situations for my family as a result of frequent house sharing, I was a survivor of childhood sexual and physical abuse, and as I entered motherhood, my body remembered everything it even remembered the time in NY when I was sexually assaulted by a homeland security officer in the first few weeks I arrived who told me that if I told anyone, he would find me.

The weight of it all was unbearable, from post-pregnancy hormones, postpartum hemorrhage, anemia and sciatica that left me unable to walk or even leave the house. I tried counseling and psychology, but these methods only exacerbated my trauma, making it feel even more real and pressing. My days were spent in a battle against my memories, flashbacks, and a body that felt like a war zone. But through it all, I had my newborn daughter in my arms, and I knew I had to find a way to love her, and myself, through the storm.

My body also carried the memories of my younger years, when I unconsciously sought to protect myself. As a young girl, I would overeat, indulged in fast food, and was in a constant state of fight or flight. This led to high cortisol levels, which contributed to my weight; at 5’7”, I typically weighed around 120 - 140 kg (265 - 300 lbs). I don't shame my younger self, but I recognise that I was trying to be unattractive to men as a way to cope with past experiences. After giving birth, my body felt vulnerable and instinctively sought to protect itself again. Despite being a vegetarian, preparing and growing my own food, and avoiding fast food, my body, in its wisdom, recreated the same form of my youth, one that felt safe, comfortable, and protected.

It was around this time that I discovered EFT. My daughter was about six months old when I attended a childhood survivors retreat and was introduced to this powerful healing tool. It was as if a light had been switched on. EFT helped me release the overwhelming fear and pain I had been carrying, and I felt like a different person. The energy work and the experience of Matrix Reimprinting that followed allowed me to go straight to the source of my trauma, the first time I was violated at age four. Through Matrix Reimprinting, I reunited with my inner child, offering her the love and safety she needed.

That connection to my inner child grew stronger with each session. The first session, which addressed my biggest trauma, was life-changing. It released the heaviest burden, and the other memories that once felt so insurmountable began to lighten. After more sessions, I decided to train in EFT and Matrix Reimprinting so that I could practice these techniques daily and eventually share them with others.

In these dark moments, the light of God (universe) showed me the way. I knew that despite everything, God (universe) had kept me safe through the experiences of relived unimaginable pain. I began to cultivate a love for myself and my daughter from a place that didn’t seem to exist before. I sat with my pain, embraced it with compassion, and needed to learn to love myself with the same patience and gentleness that I gave to my daughter. I was looking for a pathway on how to do this and I felt that this path of healing was the way I needed to live.

Over time, I began to feel at home in my body, more so than I ever had before. I felt safe, whole, and connected to myself in a way that I had never experienced. Returning to self-love and acceptance felt like coming back to the pure, loving essence I had as a baby, a soul connected with God. It has now been seven years since I first began practicing EFT, and in that time, I’ve had the honour of working with clients from all walks of life, guiding them through their own journeys of healing and self-discovery